Less Drama, More Love: The Key to Peaceful Parenting (Podcast Episode 21)

Do you ever feel like you’re caught in a never-ending cycle of drama with your kids or even your partner? You’re not alone! This week, Marjie and Paige sit down with marriage & family therapist Barbara Fairfield, LCMFT, to talk about the Drama Triangle.

Barbara breaks down three roles we often find ourselves playing— Perpetrator, Rescuer, and Victim—and helps us see why this pattern keeps repeating. Here’s the good news: we don’t have to stay stuck in the drama! When we look at the whole picture and stop blaming each other, it leaves space to build healthier relationships with yourself and with others. 💖

Tune in to discover how to:

  • Spot the roles you and your family members are playing 🎭
  • Break the cycle and create healthier interactions 💪
  • Turn conflict into a chance for connection and growth 🌳

💬Join the Conversation: Do you notice the Perpetrator, Victim, Rescuer model in your family dynamic? What questions come up for you?

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Hosts 

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center
Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Guest

Barbara Fairfield, LCMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Maryland. Barbara was in monthly clinical supervision with David Schnarch for 20 years and began studying with him in 1994. She is a consultant in the Genetics Department of The Johns Hopkins University Hospital where she facilitates a supervision group for the genetic counselors in various clinics there. In her private practice, besides seeing couples and individuals, she also conducts three therapy groups, two all-female and one all-male group. She is married to Don Fairfield, a retired NASA scientist who also trained with Barbara to lead marriage enrichment groups as Specialists with the Better Marriages non-profit organization

Special thanks to our editor Max Cotter, and our team Marike Pienaar and Wendy Tracy. You make a valuable difference.

Resources

🎧 If you are a natural Rescuer, take a listen to Circle In episode 018 Finding Strengths.
👓Check out the NY Times Article Marjie mentioned about Millennials & children.
🥾Paige shares her hard won lesson on the perils of rescuing in her blog, The Path of Parenting

📖 The CircleIN podcast from Family Leadership Center is based on Adlerian philosophy, including the work of Dr. Alfred Adler. Dr. Adler’s core needs were translated into The Four Crucial Cs by Drs. Amy Lew and Betty Lou Bettner. The Cs are: Connect (belonging), Capable (movement, progress), Count (significance, mattering), and Courage (encouragement).

  • Ansbacher, H. L., & Ansbacher, R. R. 1956. The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler, Basic Books. New York.
  • Bettner, B.L. & Lew, A. 1989. Raising Kids Who Can. Connexions Press. MA. (available for sale at familyleadershipcenter.org)
  • Dreikurs, R. & Soltz, V. 1964. Children: The Challenge. Hawthorn Books. New York.

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